If You Want me to Believe You’re an Ally

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If you want to me to believe that you’re an ally to others, without being performative, start lifting up people from communities that you don’t belong to. People who you admire, for their leadership, their talent, their minds, their stories of their magnificence, etc..

If you want me to believe that you’re an ally who is here to be a part of the community rather than co-opting it show me people who you’ve befriended, who don’t look like you. People you’ve made space for at your own table or invited into bigger tables. People who come from different upbringings and backgrounds. People who have not had the same opportunities or had to venture across a different path than you to get to where you both are now.

If you want me (or anyone else for that matter) to believe that you’re an ally start by showing us more than telling us because I personally have had it with people who tell me all day long how committed they are to their allyship, only to act as some of the worst oppressors that I’ve met.

The days of performative conversation are over and this next generation isn’t having it. Ally is a verb, so if you truly want to show us all how much of an ally you actually are then perhaps my friend, it’s time to get to work!

Night one

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Tonight is the first night, not in our home.

My body is vibrating with pain and I’m having muscle spasms throughout my legs. My feet are on fire and I’m exhausted.

Further proof that I’m no longer 20 anything.

It’s scary and intimidating to pack it all up; again.

We’ve boxed up or bagged what we could but had to sell, giveaway, or trash so many things that I worked so hard to have. Things that once made us more comfortable & brought us joy. Suddenly worthless.

We sold a $2k couch for $40 because our dogs used it more than we did and it just had to go.

We donated and gave away bags and bags of clothes, food, and stuff of all kinds to people we’ve never seen before and will never see again, but it brought us joy to just give as much as it brought them to receive.

So many stories of single women, reclaiming their power and needing this thing or that thing. I don’t believe in adding too much to landfills and a fan of the idea that one man’s trash really is another man’s treasure.

We’ve been in this town for 3 years and unfortunately, until today most of our interactions with folks have been vile and unkind. Today I saw a whole other side of Jacksonville, that makes me sad we didn’t meet these folks until now.

Though maybe if we had, we wouldn’t be letting ourselves find out what it’s like to change our own narrative and not settle but to actually live a life rooted in a community of support instead of oppression.

Here’s to the future.