There’s something about feeling

These thoughts that I’ve been feeling 

That scares me into dealing with

How much dope I can get for my dollar

Rather than knowing the reason

Why in my sleep I hollar out

And loud into the night

Like a kid swept into a crowd


And it’s too hard to 

Let myself cry

When wanting to die

Has been the most peaceful sound

That my ears have found

The bittersweet blood 

That I taste on my tongue 

When I think of the shot

Lying in that gun

The bullet, that could become the one

Pulling the trigger with the twitch of a finger

I swirl it around and let it linger

Like the smokey cloud

Hanging around it’s 2pm 

What a time for it to end

65 degrees and sunny

No more worries about money




But, what if it lasts?

The hellish torment

That laughs in my face

Everytime I swallow

A swig of booze

To cure these blues,

What if I take it

With me to my grave

And I find myself 

Going out of my mind?

The pain inside

Will seek me out

When I try to hide

So how do I rid myself 

Of such a curse?

My lips begin to purse up

And pucker

Over the feeling that maybe I’m just one screwed up mother fucker.